So, you broke up with your boyfriend not all that long ago (though it seems like forever), and now you want to know what you can do to win back an ex boyfriend. What follows is controversial, and a lot of the so called relationship experts will tell you not to do it. But if you have tried other things, and are willing to do whatever it takes, then it may be time to consider taking drastic measures. So, what are we talking about? We are talking about dating somebody else.
Okay, okay! Your first thought is probably that it sounds counterproductive, distasteful, and there is no way whatsoever that you would ever do such a thing. Those thoughts and feelings are perfectly natural, but what if you were able to win back your ex boyfriend by doing so? Would that change your mind?
Allow me to explain. After breaking up with somebody you still care about, your thoughts are going to be focused on them. You are going to be preoccupied with how you can get them back. And you also know that the longer you wait to patch things up, the better the chances that he will have found somebody new. But what’s really going on?
You need to understand that even though you are apart right now, the chances are very high that your ex boyfriend is still thinking about you. After all, you were a part of his life, and it’s not possible for him to completely remove you from his memory. Furthermore, even if he is dating somebody else, that doesn’t mean his feelings for you are gone. This possibility opens the door to getting back together, so there is no reason for you to panic.
So, before you start trying to track him down to plead your case, take a break and ease off. The best thing you can do is to give him some space and time. He needs some time to sort things out, and you also need to give him some time to start missing you. That will never happen if you keep pestering him.
What I want to do here is take you inside the mind of your guy after the breakup. Understanding what runs through his mind will help you with your next moves and help shift the balance of power and give you more control of the situation.
“After a breakup I really don’t want to hear about getting back together. There’s a reason we broke up in the first place, so if a girl keeps bugging me to get back together it has the opposite effect.
I don’t want to focus on her considering that I’m sure I can have her back when ever I want, so I might as well have fun playing the field a little and have a good time while I can since I can always fall back on her if things go south with the other girls.
However, when I begin to hear from others that she’s out spending time with other guys and having a great time, then I start pay attention. I start to question the breakup and I ask myself if I actually did what’s right. It’s possible that I was wrong for terminating the relationship with her? My interest is peaked and out of the blue I’m thinking about her again.”
As soon as you realize that you won’t be contacting your ex right away, it’s time for you to start having a social life again. Go ahead! Get dressed up and go out and have some fun with your friends. This will serve two purposes. One, it will help you keep your mind off your ex. Two, it will give your self-esteem a much needed boost.
When you are going out with friends, stay open to the idea of meeting somebody new. In other words, don’t let the thought of getting your ex boyfriend back prevent you from being happy. Feel free to start dating somebody else.
However, the key here, is not to use somebody else to make your ex boyfriend jealous. That wouldn’t be cool. Instead, strive to be a happy, well-adjusted person. And over time, your ex boyfriend is sure to take notice. Then, if the opportunity should come up, then you can always get back together.